Sunday, October 5, 2014

Emotional Rollercoaster

In all honesty, I don’t even know how to put into words the emotions inside of me.  I’m not usually one to admit my anxieties; sometimes I even struggle to admit them to myself, but I’m already learning a big part of my experience here is learning to be vulnerable.  My independence so often prevents me from sharing my emotions with others, but the sooner I am able to do that, the sooner I will “get better,” mas o menos.  And really, what better time to do that than now?

They warn us all before we leave that coming back to the states will be a culture shock.  They warn us that no one is going to understand the life changing experience that we just went through.  I am not even two days INTO this experience and I already can see the truth in that.  There is no way anyone who is not in my place, or who has not been in my place, will understand the emotions and craziness that this experience brings about.

Within the first 24 hours of leaving home I had to have cried a dozen times.  I am not a crier, so that is saying something.  It wasn’t even preventable crying.  Half the time I didn’t even know why I was crying. Combine anxiety with being alone in a foreign country and it’s enough to make a person have a mental breakdown.

That being said, this is easily the best decision I have ever made in my life.  It is truly a test of my independence and perseverance.  As I told a friend this morning, there is no doubt in my mind that these next two months will change the rest of my life.  I am so, so very excited to see what adventures await me!

On another note, I met the other girls (and guy) staying in the area and at my school as well. Having them here makes it much easier to adjust.  They all are pretty great and I am excited to spend time exploring with them.  Today, I went for lunch at Café Crepes and it was DELICIOUS.  Sonam and I both had Nutella and strawberry crepes and Brittany had a vegetarian one.  There were so many choices we are excited to go back and try them all!  Then Brittany and I took a walk around town.  It was fun to see Santa Ana in the daylight (since I arrived in the dark) and see how different it is from home.  Prior to leaving for lunch, I met the OK Crew.  The other girl, una otra Brittany, staying with my host family is from OK along with four other girls (Sophie, Becca, Sierra, Darcy) and a guy (David) who are staying nearby.  It was exciting getting to know them and I am looking forward to our upcoming endeavors.

Another exciting part of my day was the cockroach-the-size-of-my-thumb living on my wall.  Thank you again, David, for killing that.  Brings back memories of the oversized centipedes back home.. *shudders*

Anyway, I need to get back to working on my EdTPA (the one I swore up and down I would finish before I left the states) before dinner with my wonderful host family and an early night to bed.  Tomorrow will be my first day at school and I am anxious (in the good way) to meet my cooperating teacher and class!

Almuerzo: Nutella y fresas- deliciosa!

Mi amigo nuevo

You can find all travel posts from Hey Dreamer Blog here.

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